I’m not into the body modification scene at all. To me, piercings and tattoos are just one more way peer pressure is screwing up the youth of today. Yes, I believe that peer pressure is the only reason people get tattoos. I’ve had friends tell me that they don’t care what their friends think, but here’s a tip: if someone feels the need to tell you they don’t care what you think, it almost certainly isn’t true.

What’s wrong with getting inked? You’re setting yourself up with what is, in some situations, a major social handicap. My friend has applied for work at over 50 places. But even Burger King turned him away, all because of his full tattoo sleeves. You’re sending a stronger message about yourself than you realise. Lots of businesses are wary of hiring people with virtual statements of “I’M A REBEL AND NONCOMFORMIST” on their arms.

Tattoos will earn you some short-term kudos among your friends. But friends change. What if you abandon your bikie ways and try to fit in with the rest of society? Are you still going to want to have a flaming skull on your arm? How about law school? How about that nursing home 50 years into your future? I emplore you, if you get inked, make it something small and tasteful. Not “YOUR MOM WAS HERE” right above your dick. I mean, come on.