Tonight I took a personality test you can find here. I won’t post the results, since it would not be helpful to man or beast. Actually, I just went through it clicking the craziest, weirdest, most contradictory options possible, in the hopes that the test would diagnose me with a crippling mental disorder.

Somewhere through that exhausting 120 question waste of time, it occurred to me that no-one answers these tests honestly. It’s an advantage of the internet that you can exaggerate your abilities by as much as you want. Try it. Go to whatever message board your visit, start a “What’s your chest measurement” thread, and watch as the community of D&D geeks you thought you knew transforms into a community of bodybuilders, Navy SEALS, and Mr Universe contenders.

If you’re wondering “but why would people lie to a personality test program?” then you have to realise that people are so used to lying about their skills and abilities that they can’t turn it off. They even lie to anonymous php scripts on the internet.

Uh, well, I forget where I was going with this and it seems to have run out of steam, so I’ll finish by urging you to take the test, which is by far the best test to pay me $10 to say something nice about it.